“ Closed Sundays! ”


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69 Luxury Wall Clock


Every second counts! Make an impression on friends and colleagues alike with this heirloom quality 10" wall clock - that has 69 for every hour. Printed in the United States, you'll always know what time it is, because again, every hour has been replaced by the number 69. The sex number. Your dad will love it and your mom will wonder why she moved to Dallas with him 30 years ago instead of studying abroad with Margaret. This is so fucking stupid I can't even believe no one ever thought of it before.


  • 69
  • Wooden frame
  • Plexiglass face
  • Pre-installed backside hook
  • For indoor use
  • Requires one AA battery (NOT included)

Square baby too dumb for presents onesie
Square baby too dumb for presents onesie Dtg toodumbforpresents mockup front flat white Tdfp lifestyle table shot

Too Dumb For Presents Baby Onesie


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Babies are real dumb, can't read, and can barely drive, so they sure as hell don't understand what Christmas is, or that you had to work overtime at the factory to afford some $150 barking dog toy. Instead just buy this shirt and laugh at your dumb baby while you slam eggnog on the couch. Time is precious, and before you know it they'll figure out you're a total asshole so enjoy owning them while you still can. (also great for birthdays, baptisms, bat mitzvahs, and moon ceremonies)


  • 100% soft cotton
  • Comfortable envelope neckline
  • Three snap leg closure

Detail 1967 1994 light
Detail 1967 1994 light 67 94 mockup of a tattooed girl wearing a ringer tshirt mockup while sitting on a yellow chair a17002 Dtg 1967 1994 light mockup front wrinkled whiteblack 67 94 happy edgy girl wearing a ringer tshirt template while on a bed a17028

Triple D R.I.P. Ringer Tee


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It's been almost 7 years since the iconic grunge front man left this planet for the warm and cozy confines of eternal Hell, but you can remember him with this thoughtful tribute painted by baby orangutan "Ginger" of the St. Louis zoo.


  • 100% pre-shrunk combed ring-spun cotton
  • Semi-fitted/boys cut
  • Contrast color binding at neck and sleeves
  • Double-needle stitched bottom hem